Realistic Christmas Letter - 2010

Holy Cow…(and no, we haven’t converted to Hindu)…where has the year gone…only yesterday was I writing last year’s realistic Christmas Letter. This year’s letter will not only be realistic…but probably politically incorrect….you have been warned….and proceed at your own risk.

First let’s get this out of the way….we still have 3 kids. I know…we haven’t killed a one…

Luke is now in the 4th grade. I am not going to lie to you and tell you he is the absolutely most intelligent boy in the world….he is smarter than most and not as smart as some. He reads like a monster….although I personally think this is a ploy to stay up longer on school nights….he does tend to knock out some 400 page books….and then tells me about them….as far as I know he could be making the whole thing up….which means that if he is using this as a ploy to stay up late….he may actually be a genius. He has really taken to baseball where he plays catcher and soccer where he plays goalie. He is also beginning his last year in Cub Scouts….working on his Arrow of Light Award. For the record…the cleanliness of his room has not changed one bit from last year….and he is now housing three of our neighbor’s missing dogs….ok that was a lie….the dog part…not the room part.

Macy is bout to turn 8…and in 2nd grade. She helps us all keep our schedules straight….and organizes all our stuff…and then plans all our meals…ok that meal part is an exaggeration…but she does make sure everything is squared away. She reads like a monster too….but hasn’t pulled the “I need to stay up late to read” stunt…you know, the stunt Luke’s pulls because his mom and dad just can’t figure it out….anyways…she played soccer this year…mainly to be with her friends….because…”Daddy, you just have to run too much for soccer to be that much fun.” She much preferred playing softball on the “Speedy Hamsters.” Evidently, softball requires much less running…I don’t get it. She has started taking piano this summer and just last week mastered Mozart’s Opus 5. No. 4 in E flat major….ok…I can’t quit lying…she only has completed the first half of it…at least that is what I think she is playing….but what do I know….I play a radio and that’s it. On top of playing the piano, she is still in dance, Girl Scouts, AWANA’s, and Y Princess…which makes for two things….an overachieving daughter and busy parents.

Hope is now 4 and in preschool. Last year you remember we had her in speech…and we had trouble getting her to talk. That, folks, is no longer a problem. She has not hushed this year…and orates as well as President Obama…only she makes a lot more sense than him and has a better understanding of why Keynesian economics doesn’t work in a free market….no, I am not lying here….trust me on this! There is a reason her middle name is Reagan. She has a wicked, sarcastic sense of humor…and always aims to make people laugh….out loud…she has pleaded to play soccer next year….and so that will be in full swing…


Bren and I have not done anything this year…nothing…really!…ok…again I am not being forthright. Bren serves as Chief, Cook and bottle washer of Team Elliott….as well as Girl Scout Cookie Mom for Macy’s Troop and Treasurer of the Cub Scout Pack. She is involved in a church Bible study, volunteers for AWANAS, does kickboxing, spin class and somehow makes sure that all the homework is done and everybody is fed. She fulfilled a lifelong dream this year….when…drum roll please….she got to go to a taping of Oprah in Chicago….I myself would have preferred a root canal…but this was something she had been trying to do for over 20 years…and yes she actually got on TV….fortunately she went with one of her girlfriends…and I didn’t have to go…I would have tried to get the pool boy to go in my place if that were the case.

Now to me…do you really care at this point….I still lean to the conservative side…and like long walks on the beach and nice long bubble baths…ok…another lie! (not the conservative part….do I really need to tell you that?) I am still doing the endurance athlete thing. I ran the Bataan Memorial Marathon (26.2 miles) this year through the White Sands Desert…with a 44 pound backpack and came in 10th for my age group. I also took up cycling and rode the Hotter N Hell 100 miles in August….and then ran the ½ marathon (13.1 mile) trail race the very next day…I know….I have issues. Plan on more epic races and events this upcoming year and read all about it at runningmandave.blogspot.com. Next up a 50K (31 miles) trail race in Bandera Texas…January. I helped coach Luke’s baseball team and am Cubmaster for the Pack...and I still work as a straight commission salesman at Timberlake & Dickson…still perform magic…and other than that ….I don’t do much. Oh…yeah….Bren went to Oprah….and I went to the 5th game of the World Series….I don’t have to tell you who got the better end of that deal.

As a family…we had a great year….Bren and I got to go off for a little vacation to Boston MA sans kid. What a wonderful time in Historic Boston…taking it all in, even a Red Sox baseball game at Fenway…and of course eating at Cheers. ;-) On top of that little trip, the whole family spent an entire week at 9000 feet in the Colorado Rockies. It was a Christian based family camp with more to do than you could stand. A great “camping” compromise with Bren and I as the accommodations had the proper thread count sheets and Bren didn’t have to go outside to use the bathroom. We went white water rafting…mountain climbing….horseback riding…kayaking ….swimming….all the great outdoor things….and LOVED IT!


Soooo, if you made it this far…Bless your little heart….you need to get a life….no, really, get a life. I know right now we are in some real uncertain times. It seems we have more friends that have been diagnosed with cancer this year…and I don’t have to tell you what is happening on the economic/political front. Sometimes I look around and think…how are we all going to make it…then I think about my Father, the Maker of Heaven and Earth…the immovable Rock…with His steadfast love and His Only Son….the Reason for the Season…responsible for crazy people sending letters out like this one…and I think…It’s all going to be alright…Peace and love from our family to yours….

The Elliotts

P.S. I know this letter has run-ons, fragments, and grammatical errors…but my High School English teacher, Mrs. Copeland, ain’t getting a copy…so just chill…will ya!