Yes…I
suffered from OCD….I had no clue what it was called when I was a kid….I didn’t
tell anyone either…. Because they would really think I was crazy. It really hit me half way through first
grade….and I can’t even tell you why…but I know that it started taking me so
much longer to finish my work…just coloring a work sheet was an act of being in
the throes of hell.
Off and on….for
5 years….it seemed to begin to wane…..till the 6th grade…and then
with all its evilness….it hit…unlocking
my combination lock to my locker was a ritual…seven times I must rotate the
tumbler…and if I didn’t feel like it was perfect….then start over….I would count….I
would not step on a crack…and even if I didn’t ….what if I accidently did….I
would have to go back….oh wait…did I lock my lock…I had just pulled on the combination
lock seven times….but no…I have to go back…to check…climbing stairs...up and down...updown....updown...till it felt "right."
There have
been shows like ‘Monk’ that make it part of the comedy of the show….my life
wasn’t a comedy…it wasn’t a joke….then as soon as OCD came on in the first
grade…it left the summer before my 7th grade year. I couldn’t tell you why….was it that I had
had enough?…that by works we are not saved?…I don’t know…maybe bio chemical?…I
really have no clue.
I don’t
struggle now…although nearly every morning I circle back around to check to see
if I closed the garage door….but that is about it…maybe this might explain that
why I am all in with what I do…..I am in
sales…obsess about it….I want to get in shape…go run an ultra….you want to
learn some magic…go compete and win...maybe that’s why?…I don’t have those
answers either.
And then
today I see this 2 minute video of a guy reciting a poem…about having OCD….and.I.know.exactly.what.he.is.talking.about…..EXACTLY….and
until now…I have told no one except my wife what I went through as a kid with
OCD…not even my brother…my parents…or my friends.
I now I
blogged about it…maybe I need to go wash my hands….seven times…..
