A Realistic Christmas Letter

You ever get that Christmas letter from the family that makes it sound like it's just TOO perfect of a year. Well, I don't roll that way and I was asked to write this thing. Had a friend read it and a soft drink shot out their nose from laughing. It's funny...I guess...but most important it's how DaveE and Team Elliott roll. Enjoy!

Alright…It’s that time of year where you are getting a barrage of Christmas Cards and Letters. Usually the typical Christmas letter will go into how great everything is and that the kids are all geniuses, the wife is a kept women with a busy social calendar and the Husband has gotten two promotions and a new Bass Boat…(which tells me he is a jerk on one end of a line waiting on a jerk of the other end and he’s really good kissing someone’s backside.) Do you really expect for us to believe that life is only a bed of roses with no thorns….REALLY? This is no such letter! First of all…the wife ain’t writing this letter….I am…DAVE!...so there….I may get brownie points by taking one more thing off of my sweet wife’s to do list. …and you, well, you get a realistic look at TEAM ELLIOTT! NO sugar coating here…ok a little maybe.

We still got 3 kids…we ain’t killed a one of’em. In fact, we still love’em all.

Luke is about to turn 9 in January and he cracks me up on a daily basis’s. He is really active in Cub Scouts…in fact he loves it. He also really enjoys playing baseball….mainly the catcher position, and basketball. What he really latched onto this year is the Triathlon. He completed his first one this September coming in 4th for his age group. The guy ran a 3 min. 36 sec. ½ mile to finish it up….heck, his old man can’t run that fast. As far as school…doing well but likes to talk a lot in class…his Grandma reminded him that her son did too. I refuse to confirm or deny that fact. (5th amendment for you conservatives that still believe in the Constitution…unlike our current U.S. Regime.)

Macy…well, she will turn 7 in January. Her mind is devious…really…she’s a planner. She loves art, she takes dance and is in Girl Scouts…. and really enjoys that. A real overachiever…who got mad when she wasn’t in the high reading group….took her a month to get moved to that coveted group…she is currently working on War and Peace. (ok that last part was a lie.) She helps keep her brother on track…he needs all the help he can get when it comes to keeping up with his stuff…you ought to see his room. Found the neighbors dog under his bed…it had been missing for a month and half. She is a great daughter who likes to go camping…doesn’t get that from her Mom I tell ya.

That brings us to Hope…age 3….who is the only one in the family who doesn’t celebrate her birthday in January. Oh Hope, a true cut up and ham. She still can’t talk well but understands everything you say. The speech therapist claims that if her mom wouldn’t have played football during her pregnancy, she would probably be able to talk. Of course the gene pool on the Dad’s side left a bit to be desired too….and I can’t even claim she’s adopted. cause she ain’t. Come to find out…actual cause of delayed speech are all those ear infections early in life. She’s learning to dance too. For those keeping score, 2 dancers and a triathlete. Her brother and sister adore her…and because she met the size limit requirements…her mom and dad aren’t throwing her back either. ( that’s for the guy with the new bass boat.)

Ok, This brings us to the bride and groom. Brenda keeps everything going…sometimes its smooth sailing and sometimes well….we got three active kids…what do you think. Besides juggling all their schedules and homework, she is still active in MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers), is the Girl Scout Cookie Mom, and just got nominated to the Cub Scout Pack Treasurer. She does the work of three men…and frankly…I don’t know how….oh, she still works out 4 to 5 times a week…and probably could whip ya….but she wouldn’t because she’s too sweet.

Me…do you really care. Still work for the same company that I have for the past 8 years…selling commercial air conditioning in Texas (it ain’t that hard.). Economy has affected our business a little, but we’re still blessed. I ran a lot….ok…a whole lot….4 Ultra Marathons (two 50 mile races and two 50K races) I try to control this three ring circus…and usually love it ….most of the time….I still do magic…active in Cub Scouts….still love Texas….and really do you care about all this?

To the Highlight: In September, we surprised our kids, pulled them out of school, and took them to Disney World. Yep, we’re shooting to be awarded “parents of the year” for that little move. Seven days on property and I have to say that that place is truly magical. We closed the parks down every night…rode everything we could…and because of the off season didn’t have to deal with over crowdedness or a European with body odor. We ate breakfast with the princesses in the Castle, and had brunch with Chef Mickey. The kids loved it…both old and young. I came back to work to get some rest.

FOR THE IMPORTANT STUFF: If you got this letter we like you…if you didn’t and should have…well we like you too. We pray blessings on you this Christmas Season. For the whole, Life is Good… sometimes there are bad times…but mostly good. I am learning that the sticky fingers on the door knobs won’t matter in Heaven….but what I say to my kids may….that a really clean house is overrated….or for that matter Luke’s room….and that all that other stuff written above…well, it’s trivial compared to our relationships with Christ Jesus…and our relationships with the ones we love. So if you skipped down just to read this last paragraph…well, I don’t blame you…and really you got to the stuff that really matters. Have a great Christmas.!

from the family who took their Church Directory picture wearing Texas Aggie football jerseys.

Dave …and by proxy… Brenda, Luke, Macy, and Hope!